Amber: Ok, is everyone clear on what to do?
Jackson: Yeah I think so, but this must be the dumbest plan I have ever heard!
Garland: Who cares dude? I get to sing in it, so it's the best plan ever!
Amber: What about you Lucas? You got everything?
Lucas: Yeah I got it, so when do we leave?
Amber: We attack at noon!
Jackson: But it's already noon.
Amber: Oh….then we attack now! To the Warthog!
All: [All get in Warthog and drive off]
(Elsewhere, the Covenants wait for the Spartans to show themselves)
Captain Zantar: Any sign of them?
Salar: I'm not picking anything up on my sniper rifle. Maybe this should be our time to attack!
Captain Zantar: We can't yet; Sally and Cole have yet to recover.
Sally: Actually sir, I'm feeling fine, but Cole has seemed to have gotten worse.
Cole: Hey you guys wanna have a tea party! It will be sooooo fun! We can wear dresses and everything!
Captain Zantar: Damn, I guess we will have to wait.
Lucas: [drives up in Warthog with others]
Captain Zantar: They are here! Prepare for battle!
Lucas: [turns on Smooth Criminal]
Garland, Jackson: [jump out of Warthog and dance]
Salar: They've gone mad sir! What do we do?
Captain Zantar: I….I don't know! This doesn't make any sense!
Jackson: You've been hit by, a smooth criminal! [Runs up and hits Salar]
Salar: Ow what the hell was that for?!?!
Lucas: [turns music off]
Garland: You just got served. Yeah what now?!?!
Sally: What does “served” mean?
Captain Zantar: It must mean we have been defeated! All is lost.
Amber: Now is your chance Jackson! Do it now!
Jackson: Right! Ahem….in a world, where Spartans are forced to fight, one man stands tall! He is Private Jackson and he is kicking ass and taking names! Coming to a theater this fall!
Salar: I don't know how much of this I can take!
Jackson: In a world, where Covenants suck ass, one sucks more than the rest! He is Captain Zantar and he is sucking in a theater this fall.
Captain Zantar: You dare insult me? You will all pay with your lives! *pulls out sword*
Garland: No! He has pulled out the great weapon of the Covenant! It's the end of the world! Aaaaaah! [Runs around is circles].
Captain Zantar: Um…it's just a sword though.
Lucas: No it's really the end of the world! We surrender!
Captain Zantar: Yes I have won this fight! [Gets shot] what the hell?
Amber: You aren't going to win even if half of our troop is a bunch of sissies! It's time to take revenge after all these years Zantar! Bring it!
Cole: Wait! Why can't we just get along? Why are we fighting anyway? What did we ever do to each other huh?
Salar: He has a point sir, what do we do?
Captain Zantar: I guess….we stop- [gets shot by Gallant]
Commander Gallant: You didn't think we would miss out on all the fun did you? Colonel, fire the missile!
Colonel Melissa: With pleasure! [Shoots the Warthog and it explodes]
Jackson: Holy hell! Everyone run for it!
(Scout Troop Alpha and Covenants take cover)
Amber: Wait a minute, where is Lucas?
Garland: He was in the Warthog! Noooooo!
Lucas: Ow… [Stands up] what happened? Last I remember was the- [looks at damaged Warthog] god damn it, who the hell did that!
Colonel Melissa: Don't move [points gun at Lucas's head] or I'll blow your brains out!
Commander Gallant: Good work Colonel. Our work here is done. Let's go, you are coming with us! [Runs off with Melissa and Lucas]
Captain Zantar: The firing has stopped. Open fire on them now!
(All Covenants open fire on Scout Troop Alpha)
Jackson: Crap! They have us pinned down! What do we do now?
Amber: I don't know! I didn't expect things to go this far!
Garland: Who cares, I got to sing!
Jackson: Shut up Garland! Just shut up! No one cares!
(Gun fire stops)
Amber: It stopped, they must have left.
Captain Zantar: [comes up] Not exactly! We are taking you hostage, you can come quietly, or I can just kill you now.
Jackson: Why are you taking her? Take Garland he's not as important.
Garland: What?!? You are just giving me away?
Jackson: Pretty much.
Captain Zantar: It doesn't matter, it seems the tides have turned humans, well will be back for all of you! Hahahahahaa! *runs off with Garland and the rest of Covenants*
Jackson: Amber, I think we are screwed.
Amber: Yeah…..lets go back to base and get a hold of Command ok?
Jackson: Yeah this is as much excitement as I can handle for today.
First | Previous | Next | Latest